The art of not refining and checking in with how you’re feeling.

Letting things be.

Tom Stuart-Smiths Garden

I was standing looking out at the gravel garden this morning, assessing the prettiness and wildness of it and thinking to myself, I just need to refine this a little, then I checked myself- I hate that word, refine. I’m an artist and I paint loose impressionistic sometimes abstract landscapes, my husband will come in (he’s into details) and say “Don’t you want to refine that? Add some details”. And I’m like no, this isn’t a painting for you, it’s not realism, it’s what I see/feel and I’m more into the emotion of a place- how it makes me feel, not the details. Gardening or gardens have that same feeling for me and I like mine un-tamed. I hadn’t realised as I was looking at the garden that I was viewing it through his eyes not mine, sometimes it’s so easy to take into account other peoples likes/dislikes and want to please them. Not because it’s demanded, but as humans we do aim to please, maybe that’s just us British. Pondering over this for a few moments longer, I decided to embrace the wild nature of this garden, not tame it, not try and work it into a perceived form of perfection- what is perfect anyway. And simply let it be. Let the alchemilla mollis grow in clumps through the gravel (it’s obviously happy), let the hydrangea Annabelle’s flop and the clematis run away from the trellis in joyous abandon. An unrefined garden, not edited, just left to be.

Snape Marshes- Oil on canvas

Refining, to the point of what exactly… To tidy, to add detail, to complete, to control… What if we didn’t strive for the allusive perfection, what if- instead of refining, we spent that time going gently, not only looking but absorbing, slowing down enough to notice how we are feeling in that exact moment.

Snape Marshes, Suffolk.

As I sink deeper into a career/life as an artist, I’m realising more than ever the importance of slowing down and making time for creative practice. Wherever you may be on your creative journey, remember to go gently on yourself and allow yourself the time to develop and grow. Play is experimentation, there’s no need to rush to find your voice, style. Through the ‘doing’ you’ll experience your likes/dislikes and grow. Doing nothing breeds procrastination and around you go again and again, on a never ending roundabout, missing all the exits, missing all the possibilities.

My emotion to Snape Marshes- Oil on canvas

I’ve said this before- Confidence comes over time- giving yourself time to experiment, to develop and grow. Showing up in ways that feel comfortable at first- then pushing a tiny bit more out of your comfort zone, explore a little deeper, play a little more and repeat until that feels comfortable. Learning to lean into what brings you the feelings you need- be it a sense of calm, excitement, joy and delving deeper into that. Switching off the button of outside validation, switch off the people pleasing one while you’re at it! And hidden there, somewhere in the tangled alchemilla mollis, you’ll find your space.

When was the last time you asked yourself ‘How do I want to feel?’ I mean really feel! For example, I’d been feeling the need for space around me, what I was looking for was a feeling of calm so I could feel myself breathe and let my thoughts flow. Looking around my home I’d noticed how dark and cavelike it was, think dark academia vibes, it was beautiful but I was feeling pulled into it- like a dusty novel hemmed in on the bookshelf. Everything felt tight, my art dried up and the frustration built until I decided to do something about it. The moment you realise that if you want to change something- only you can take the action to do it, as no one else can do it for you, well, it lights a fire. I needed calm and space, so I literally got up, stripped my living room of stuff I didn’t need or things I didn’t find beautiful and painted it a calming shade of white, I painted over the busy floral wallpaper that was expensive but I’d grown tangled up in and brought in lots of florals in the form of fresh, dried and textiles. I hung my own art and added textures in light tones for comfort. I also put a lot of dusty books away! I then did the same to my studio, literally creating space. The art of being proactive and making these changes brought not only a sense of achievement but the calmness I’d been craving. In turn, my art relaxed again, there’s more space in my paintings and I’m enjoying the freedom once more. What changes can you make to instigate the change in your emotions/being?

Right, I’m off to the studio.

Emma x